Jumping List Thursday
Yesterday 
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Usually on a weekend morning I get a bit of a break by not getting up quite as early in the week.
This entails the kids usually coming into the bed and either sleeping (ok that never happens) or playing around my dozing state. On some occasions the other half goes to help some charity, in which case I'm in the bed with the kids jumping around and generally getting in the way of my slumber.
Last Sunday on one such occasion an horrific thing happened.
Whilst the kids are playing the jumping on the bouncy bouncy bed and landing on daddy's back game my eldest took a run up over the bed jumped a small jump in readiness for the full pummeling jump to take full advantage of the springy springy bed.
All went well with the first jump and to be honest the setup from this jump was so perfectly time his full weight (he's only 4 to be fair) pushed down on the matress for one of the springiest, and highest, jumps in the history of mattress jumping (for him) and he landed square on my back.
I did not flinch.
I did not move.
In fact all I could do was shed a tear or two and emit a high pitched scream that only the dog (who, if he hadn't have gone with Claire would no doubt have come in the room) could have heard.
You see the secondary jump by my eldest had his feet squarely together over the top of my sausage and roast potatoes. The best way of describing this is the Scene in Kill Bill 2 where Kiddo (Uma Thurman) squishes Elle Drivers' (Daryl Hannah) eye ball between her toes.
Suffice to say, bed jumping is now forbidden in our house.
I'll struggle on with this before I have to go to school dinners (I kid you not) as my face is somewhat sunburnt (I can feel it cracking when I move around) and my hay-fever is awful, subject to having to have windows open all night to stop the family turning into a Sweat Blob Monster(c).
1. Hawkeye - Loving the Wimbeldon stuff and the rulings with this, here is the company that make it. And they have one for everyone, Football one in the works.
2. I don't use the word genius very often, but this is truly genius. Ever fixed someting 'temporarily', well then this is for you. There I Fixed It
3. Simply Huge Dogs, not photoshopped.
4. Skeptics annotated bible - This site is dedicated to rubbishing the bible, quran and book of mormon. So if you want to feel justified, give it a go, or if you want to anger up the blood give it a go.
5. Searching..................Everyone uses google, but more specialist ones are starting to pop up. Collecta - Uses things like twitter and flickr to get results. Kosmix - I quite like this one, gave some good results for opanoid.com :) - Apple style Thumbnail listings and Spyfu - Will be giving this a bending in the next few weeks!
6. If you want to be grossed out.Breastfeeding at 8 - I couldn't watch it.
7. A Grant for Bottom Inspecting Silly, although it is a good excuse for the alternative version of Baby Got Back:
8. And this weeks best medical name goes to Pruritic Urticarial papules
9. I didn't have much success with this, but I was a bit rushed and never properly used it, others may have better luck, Stellarium
10. Jokes of the Week
What's more distracting than Serena's Breasts?
Venus's fly trap.
This hot weather!
I'm sweating more than Dawn French on a guided tour of Mr Kipling.
I'm a Community Support Officer, and I'm a fake PC
I've just tried my wife's bra on.
They are more complicated than they look arent they?
After nearly 10 minutes it was starting to get right on my t1ts.
The Lesbians next door have bought me a Rolex! Well chuffed... but I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch"
11. Finish on a song.
End it on a song, my current fav
Green Day - 21 Days
Brawn Virgin Branson and F1
Four days ago 
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So it would seem that Brawn can't get a sponsor for next Season on F1 (assuming F1 still exists next year!). Branson and his 'brand' Virgin apparently are going to sponsor Manor F1 Team.
Now Branson is a shrewd business man, so what information does he have that we don't. Interesting.
This still leaves the Brawn team currently without a sponsor, and that is interesting.
Currently they have the leading driver and the top team, so why would nobody want to sponsor them.
Well, is it because they got lucky? Managed to get the diffuser right whilst other teams moaned about it getting wrong. Maybe, but something is a bit off in F1 (and it's not just Luca and Moseley's pi55ing contest).
As everything in F1 time will tell.
No Time Thursday List
A Week ago yesterday 
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A company over the road from us closed down the other day. They were a kitchen fitting company and decided to up and leave. Leaving the building full of rubish and the lease company to come and pick up the machines.
Apparently they were in spain within 24 hours, sneaky buggers.
What did make me laugh is the note they left on the door. 'Gone to Funeral'.
Feeling a bit rough this morning after playing football last night, not aching, got used to that a while ago, just bad hay fever this morning, a crushed foot and blood comes out of my nose every time I blow it.
Got smacked in the face with the ball :)
SO on with the list (in no particular order):
3. Butt Belly - Very nicely done, although some are NSFW.
2. I had a venus fly trap when I was younger but I killed it because I fed it too many flies, I've always had a fascination with strange plants, unfortunately Claire is on the plant killer list so we don't have many.
5. Nice parody:
8. Augmented Video Game. Certainly a lot of potential for this, but I think on a larger scale (like hidden messages on walls), but it might be a nice way to get kids to move around and interact.
Also this type of thing would really be good for the RPG crowd.
6. Nice Username
7. Sorry but, Nice Tits
1. Bit odd but apparently Big Mac and Fries are better than some salads - Must be correct it's on the non-biaised, non-sitting on the fence, non-we don't want to upset anyone BBC (yes that was a rant).
4. Sooner or later, your wife will drive.... - Genius.
End it on a song, very strange video, catchy song though:
Well I'm off to give evils to Murray in the Tennis.
If I was to go to Glastonbury
23rd Jun 2009 Direct Link
I'd be watching:
Friday
F*c$ed Up
14:00 to 14:40 - John Peel Stage
N*E*R*D
15:10 - Pyramid Stage
Lily Allen
18:20 - Pyramid Stage
Lady Gaga
20:00 - The Other Stage
OR Noah and the Whale
20:00 - The Park
Q-Tip
23:00 to 00:15 - Jazz World Stage
Saturday
Rolf Harris
12:30 to 13:30 - Jazz World Stage
Spinal Tap
14:50 - Pyramid Stage
La Roux
17:50 - East Dance
Dizzee Rascal
16:20 - Pyramid Stage
Stereo MC's
23:15 - The Glade
OR Franz Ferdinand
22:50 Other Stage
Sunday
Status Quo
12:00 - Pyramid Stage
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
17:00 to 18:00 - Other Stage
Madness
18:00 to 19:20 - Pyramid Stage
Black Eyed Peas
22:45 - Jazz World Stage
OR Blur
21:50 - Pyramid Stage
As well as making a specific note to visit the Stonebridge Bar to watch the Hip Hop Karaoke as frankly it is just genius. Not sure when it is on though.
Due to Popular Demand Thursday List
18th Jun 2009 
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Or in other words more than 5 people have emailed or actually (physically) told me it's a shame I stopped the list that I've decided to bring it back, but only on a Thursday (as that way in my own head I'm not giving in).
This weeks list is to be read in a style of Bullseye:
Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnn 1: You'll get a laugh but at your expense with a First Day worker.
Right sod that, I can't think of any more rhymes so I'll just list them :)
2.
It just doesn't get much better than this, if you don't raise a smile whilst watching Dec contort his After Eight over his Eye then you may well be dead inside.
3.
First I read this about 420 Friendly then without telling anyone I read This about 420 because I had no idea what it meant.
4.
Best Jokes Heard This Week (either emailed, heard, read or twatted tweated.)
Judging by the pictures in the paper Madonna's Chess set is coming along nicely.
Paris Hilton and Ronaldo make me laugh...
One's a silly idiot making a big fuss of things such as hair, make up and wondering whether their bum looks big in things...
and Paris is just .......
5.
Great Song:
This post is likely to achieve the largest click vote ever received on opanoid.
Regards,
President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
Ragtime
Three Weeks ago Direct Link
Stolen blatantly from the b3ta newsletter, but it really is quite impressive.
The Merge V2 - Mac OS X Screensaver
9th Jun 2009 
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This is an updated version of 'The Merge' screensaver with improved lighting and a forward and backward motion (as I read it on a comment on a site somewhere).
Description:
"Thought processes from brain waves interacting and overruling each other."
Or it's just wavy blocks moving and changing colour. Either way, it looks pretty.
Screen Saver Size: 108KB
Zip Size: 36KB
Click to Download The Merge V2.
