November Year: 2008
Star Wars vs Star Trek
28th Nov 2008 ·
· LinkProblem is after watching it I want an official movie made!
Seven List Friday
28th Nov 2008 · · LinkFridays are an odd day on Opanoid, never get as many hits as Wednesday, but eventually they creep up, so as a push to myself I'll start posting chapters of a story I'm working on, this is my first foray into this so please be gentle, I should get better.
All Copyrights Chris G Wood 2007,2008, no reproduction whatsoever is allowed of this article/blog/story/post.
Short Story: Seven
Chapter 1 - The Call
"999 call from telephone 0208 945 44554, how can I help"
"Yes can I have the police please"
"One moment......."
"Police how can we help"
"Hello yes, is this being recorded"
"Yes sir, what is the nature of the emergency".
"Just record this please"
"Sir I..."
A click of a playback button ignites a monitored computer voice that effectively and efficiently plays back from a recording device.
[in 10 minutes time a man will be primed with a high explosive in the centre of Trafalgar Square, The man will be distinguishable from anyone else in the area. Attempting to contact the man will result in detonation, attempting to talk to the man will result in detonation, attempting to shoot the man will result in detonation.]
The phone operator is already dialling and alerting the local and nearest police officers to the threat. The message continues:
[There will be 20 minutes from the first sign of a response to remove all citizens from the immediate area. After this time anyone within the area is to sit down and stay as motionless as possible. An audible 2 minute warning will be heard from the vicinity of the man.
The man will be monitoring all areas directly around him within a 360 degree angle included above.]
Click.
The recording stops and the phone is cut off.
Necessary precautions are taken.
"There he is, I think it's that guy, I'll make my way over to him, you start getting people pulled back"
"Will do, but be careful, sounds like he's another attention seeker, never know what he will do".
John walks briskly towards the centre of Trafalgar Square towards an oddly shaped figure with an odd suit and what appear to be attached arms coming from around his tors.
"WARNING: EVACUATION OF AREA TIMER HAS BEGUN, DO NOT COME WITHIN 20 FEET OF THE TARGET" sounds a loud computerised voice.
John freezes in the spot, slightly taken aback at what he can see, he doesn't feel well.
"Sir, can I ask you to please put down your apparatus and walk away please sir".
No response.
John's radio blurts into life with a start.
[Officer 29445 DO NOT approach the subject, new information has come to light, continue evacuation of the area]
John complies with an almost distain towards the tone of the radio.
"People can we move away please people we are having to evacuate the area".
"But I'm meeting someone here" a young girl announces
"Move over to the side at least madam, they should still be able to find you"
"What's going on" says an elderly gentlemen
"Not sure Sir, just been told to evacuate for everyone's safety"
"Is it that guy there, he's been here since early, I walked through at ten past eight this morning and he was setting up" comes the response.
"Really sir, would you mind going over to my colleague over there and tell them exactly the time and what you remember seeing, might be of use to us sir thank you".
"Not a problem".
John picks up the radio and reports back on the same channel as the received earlier message "Think everyone is evacuated from the immediate area, will retreat back myself".
His train of thought is broken from another audible message
"WARNING: 2 MINUTE WARNING UNTIL EVACUATION PERIOD IS OVER"
John moves briskly away.
Within minutes a riot van turns up and without hesitation two officers climb out and start to erect barriers blocking off all roads to Trafalgar Square.
2 minutes left he thought, must ask him this:
"What is a safe distance in your book Sir".
"WARNING: SAFE DISTANCE IS TO THE ROAD ENTRANCES SURROUNDING TRAFALGAR SQUARE"
'Good' thought John, that's exactly where the barriers have been set up, John hastily retreats away from the man.
****************END************************
Calamistrate Wednesday list
26th Nov 2008 · · LinkBeing the born again fitness god that I am I no longer drink, These people do though.
It reminds me when I fell asleep on our front garden after a few beers and was awoken by a old lady walking her dog at 7.00am with slugs and snails crawling all over me and soaking wet (it was pouring down). Also we had a guy who would often go to sleep on a grave in a graveyard that was on his way back from the pub he drank in. Always gave me chills that.
Fake: Exteme Enough (this is fake, but for some reason it just makes me laugh).
Anyone else notice that youtube has gone widescreen (this is to try to lure Hollywood studios to use them), that's really going to piss off a lot of website owners who have specific layouts!
Oh and the Formula 1 will be going to medals next year and not points apparently, Bernie was not happy that someone won the championship without even trying to win a particular race. Frankly I like this idea, although if it was in effect for this year Massa would have been the champ. Some interesting quotes from the season. You'll notice Hamilton quoted quite a bit saying it's the highlight of his career.
Quickies: 12 or 13 | I know nobody who has been with one | Worst Wedding Ever
When I was 19 I felt lucky, but not this lucky (warning trashy US TV).
I quite like this.
Why did nobody tell me about this, NME Daily MP3 Downloads of music.
BouncyBouncy Screensaver for Mac
26th Nov 2008 · · LinkForgot about this one, an early screensaver I created whilst learning the ropes of xcode on the mac, it's not great, but it's still the one that gives me the most calming influence.
Download the screensaver here.
Any feedback welcome, especially ideas and improvements.
Funny Friday List
21st Nov 2008 · · LinkBit of a movie version this week, except this link to the Top 13 coolest toys on the planet. I think my boys would get most fun out of the
My Favorites:
Eric Idle is just a genius.
Ouchy (Not aloud to do the flip throw anymore)
Beautiful, in a morbid kind of way
Well soon I'm off to see Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine at the Birmingham Academy :)
Brundle Confirmed for BBC F1
19th Nov 2008 · · LinkHurrah.
Last List Wednesday
19th Nov 2008 · · LinkSitting around a large table waiting for the meeting to start, I was a touch nervous before my 'introduction' to the others, mainly because I hate to repeat myself to people of whom I have already done the introduction. So far I have managed to change it sufficiently enough to satisfy myself.
Tonight was just as before, I'd a few extra things to say to make it let monotonous.
I feel a bit strange though.
Then it hit me, I felt my heart start to race, my head pound big time.
What the hell was going on, I've done speeches before and never felt this bad, no it can't be the speech something is wrong.
My eyesight became a bit blurry so I start squinted like I have never squinted before to try and clear my eyes, god knows what the other people must have though.
Heart Attack
Heart pounded, bad head, eye sight faltering (I'm sure I've read about eye's being affected, but maybe not). Sweating profusely and Arm tingles.
Err ah, no arm tingle that's either a good sign or a very bad sign (minor to major heart attack is racing through my mind together with me being stupid at pushing to do 13 K miles twice a week and about to start 3 times a week).
Whilst all this is going on the other people are standing up and giving their speech and it's slowly making it's way around to me, which in turn is making me more nervous because I might stand up and collapse.
That, although different to my other speeches, really would be quite embarrassing, especially as I am desperate for a piss and a good chance a collapse due to heart attack would mean I soak myself with urine (I really did need one badly).
A single person left, then my turn, I feel feint, I don't think i'll be able to stand, I can't even manage to clap for the the other speeches let alone stand up and try and be coherent.
My turn comes.
I arch forward in readiness for a big push to my feet followed by a collapse over the table no doubt, and then I smell something, something I've not smelled since.......*
Coffee, I'd poured coffee instead of Tea, it's the caffeine's affect me, oh that's alright then, up I stand and give my speech.
Still needed a piss though.
If only this was true, The Truth about TV shows.
Ever thought of combining Ten Pin Bowling and Archery, well, your not alone, but it's been and gone apparently.
My other half being away for most of the week I was thinking of things to do tonight (I now know an England game is on, so that's solved that problem), but initially I was thinking of Constructing a Lightsaber.
Quickies:
Interesting
Rough Looking
iphone Glitch - sorry but this has been everywhere now, but just in case you haven't seen it.
Toilet Habits - Reading is my favourite.
That's it for now, other than the fact that Robert Kilroy Silk really doesn't do himself any favours, but at least he is entertaining.
I hope George Wins:
And finally, the song, I love this:
* No points for guessing where that was from.
Omorashi Friday List
14th Nov 2008 · · LinkTranslation: Panty Wetting Friday list. Some odd shit going around!
I start this week with clearing up a few things, if you have missed out on certain movies and wish to know what happens, then this is for you. If you want to find out the Looooong way by actually, god forbid, watching the movies then DON'T watch this.
Did you last? I managed it, and only a few movies spoiled for me.
After that something a bit more serious, The Last 10 Pictures Taken is quite interesting (if not a bit short on some details), and talking of pictures a couple of juicy ones this week, it's time to move house when you spot this in the corner of the room, then decide to clean out your BBQ!
Quickies: Innocent mind | Naughty Children | WTF?
Song this week is a bit different, this is (apparently) the first take of the movie video for White & Nerdy by Wierd Al.
I have to say that the work rate in this is stunning, and it just mesmerizes me to watch it.
This is amazing, an early version, he just keeps going and going.
White & Nerdy (Take #1) from waymoby on Vimeo.
I'm slowly plucking up the courage to release parts of a book I'm writing onto the site in sections (I've not finished the book yet so it would be one way to make me finish it if I start releasing it on here).
Problem is one of the reasons for doing this blog was to vent ideas and get more used to writing, I don't think I'm quite on top of it yet, but I am improving. Might start adding things next week.
Fill The Void List
Six days ago · · LinkSooooo busy, but thought i would post what has been gathered this past two weeks, enjoy:
Cee Lo Green - F You (the original isn't bad either
Strange Photo
Patience (stop motion)
I'm patient, but I don't think I could do this for a living.
Do you do this?
Still not using it
Jumpin'
Lucky F'ers.
Extended Version of Prince of Bel Air
It's just not right. (lyrics follow)
And the lyrics:
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.
First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
GeoTagged List
20th Aug 2010 · · LinkAfternoon all, Jesus tees off first hitting his ball straight into the water hazard. He simply walks across the water and hits his ball just short of the green. When Moses tees off, he hits his ball into the same water hazard. So, he parts the water and puts his golf ball just shy of the hole. As the old man tees off he hits his ball with tremendous power, but hooks it badly. It bounces off a tree and hits the caddy shack. It then rolls down a path to a pond where a frog eats the ball and swims to the other side of the pond. Suddenly an eagle swoops down and grabs the frog and flies off. As the eagle is flying over the green the frog drops the ball. The ball drops directly into the hole for a hole in one. Moses turns to Jesus and says "I hate playing golf with your Dad."
As the world quickly scrambles to change their FaceBook Profiles to disable Location settings I bring you the List:
Wow
Think Shes a Keeper
Remember kids, always Tip Your Midwife - ?!?!
YoYo Champ - And rightly so
Thanks to Kev for this one, Missy - Genius, I've sent this to 3 designers, they all rang me within 10 minutes laughing.
From the 'How to talk to the geeks about things and not have them laugh at you' Section: HTML5 and what it's all about
Katy B - On a Mission
Drivin' Fast.
Almost a quarter of drivers think it is acceptable to speed if they think the limit is too low - Tick that's me.
Drivers still distinguish between 'ordinary, safe speeding drivers' and 'dangerous speeding drivers' - Tick That's me too.
Motorists caught racing through motorway roadworks ended up being hit by more than £5m worth of speeding tickets last year. - Not been done on this, thankfully.
Of all the speeding offences 90+% are fixed penally notices. - Tick, got done by this.
Thought of the week.
Apple is very closed, they are right, everyone else is wrong (suppliers). However it was noted on a website that Apple have sent an update out for OS X that fixes graphics issues.
This is pretty much due in part to Valve releasing games for the Mac. It's further rumoured that the uptake of the games is astronomical.
Nothing Like a shit load of money to make Apple stand to attention.
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