April Year: 2009
FTW Tuesday List
28th Apr 2009 ·
· LinkThe dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occasionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool's mire.
They also smelt a great deal.
Love it or hate it Michael Emerson is perfect in Lost.
He's even better reading poetry.
This little story made me somewhat scared for the future.
And they moaned about Britains Got Tallent. Sweden's Got Talent.
Don't normally post this type of thing, but in readiness for the following youtube clip here is one very cute ass.
This is NSFW language, but I really urge you to watch it as this could possibly be the funniest film ever created.
Best Joke I've heard for a while:
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted."
Well, I like it anyway: (Ha ha ha ha he he ho)
Beatrice Arthur
25th Apr 2009 · · LinkMost won't know of Bea Arthur.
I however do, and it's a reminder of nan, she loved the Golden Girls and as a youngster so did I.
With a more recent voce in Futurama (Femputer) she still entertained newer and younger audiences.
Rest in peace.
Best List Ever Friday
24th Apr 2009 · · LinkWell Due to being Ill have lots of left over
Tried to put in something for everyone this week, so here goes:
01010100 01110010 01101001 01110101 01101101 01110000 01101000 <3
Anyway, watch for 1 minute to get a feel of the danger, then cut to time index:5:00 and watch from their on.
Another Angle They both survided but I believe the driver had to have his leg amputated.
Today I noticed that opanoid.com has 538 Blog Entries on my (custom, of which I am very proud of) site. With over 18365 direct hits to articles in the top 15 Articles alone.
Although the site is not popular compared to the big boys it is still in my modest way getting to be known. With the inclusion of automatically updating twitter and technorati it also draws in a small crowd from twitter (not massive, but more than if I didn't do it!).
I'd like to think that someone somewhere is reading the site or a specific article and thinking "Man this site is shit.".
It's nice to make a difference.
Self Indulgent Thursday list
23rd Apr 2009 · · LinkThis is the 113th day of the year, with 252 days remaining in 2009
Today as well as my birthday is also St George's Day and Shakespeare's Birthday (and the day he died).
My Son has nits, an old woman stuck her fingers up at me whilst driving and I got done for speeding. Not to mention getting over Food Poisoning.
Happy FU*&IN$ Birthday Me.
On This day in History:
1951 - The Associated Press began use of the new service of teletype setting.
1960 - John Lennon and Paul McCartney performed together as the Nerk Twins. 1968 - Decimal Coins Reach the High Street
1974 - One of the most important people in the world was born
1984 - Aids Virus Found
1985 - The Coca-Cola Company announced that it was changing its 99-year-old secret formula. New Coke was not successful, which resulted in the resumption of selling the original version.
Birthdays Today
Shirley Temple
Lee Majors (The Six Million Dollar Man)
Michael Moore - Director
And of course today wouldn't be complete without a mention of Emily Fox, born 1987 who is, and I know I don't have to remind you of this, the American Cupstacking champion.
I appear to have been doing the same old shit for 12784 days. Still only got until Thursday, February 2, 2040 to go.
Purely for me:
Poison Tuesday
21st Apr 2009 · · LinkShort and sweet this Tuesday (just about Tuesday) as I'm suffering from what appears to be food poisoning. I'll spare you the details.
1. 64 Things Every Geek Should Know. (based on this I am NOT a geek :)
2. I want one of these
3. And these:
4. Thankfully it Looks like Stephen William Hawking, CH, CBE, FRS, FRSA is to make a full recovery. It promopted me to take a look at his Wiki page for more details about the man.
A snipped of his awards from that page:
Strict Friday List
17th Apr 2009 · · LinkSo it was the end of the bank holiday and I was due in work early the next day.
Other half gone to a meeting late at night and I'm left with the kids to sort out food.
The perfect opportunity for a McDonalds thinks I. Not only do all kids like McDonalds but they are doing a Monster Vs Aliens movie promotion that the kids have recently just seen.
Kids, overenthusiasticaly, put on the shoes and rush out to the car for me to get a drive through and bring it back (just down the road and the kids enjoy the ride).
I give my order to the 'box' and promptly spend 2 minutes whilst queuing explaining who I was talking to to my eldest (try explaining that the box is just a conduit that someone is taking the orders through to a 4 year old!)
Finally I get to the pay window and hand over a card for payment.
The lady hesitantly hands back the card terminal, and slowly she lets go whilst I try (twice) to take it out of her hands.
Odd thinks I, they can't get the staff obviously (sorry if you work in McDonalds, this was just a throw away comment!)
I enter the card and give the machine back. She then walks off, not a word, nothing, not even eye contact. No bag of serviettes, no offer of sauces, no offer of sugar for the latte (to be fair that might be the next window).
I give up waiting for her to come back and move to the 'receiving' window especially as another driver has pulled up behind me.
Again the guy hands over the latte with a puzzled expression on his face, and I can't take it any longer.
"Everything all right mate?".
"Err yes, we are just wondering what your son has done wrong".
Unbeknownst to me in the seat behind me my youngest is sitting their with his hands up against the window holding a flower he picked from the garden in one hand (I can only assume he got it quickly on the way from the house to the car) with toy handcuffs around his wrists.
"I'm quite strict" is all I could come up with.
A Listy Wisty Woo Time
(7-6) - Movie Cast Details - Some I knew some I didn't but overall I can't help but think these could be halved to save cost.
(7-5) - Warning Sound, Warning Time Wasting Tone Matrix
(7-4) - I hate shoes, mainly because I never wear them out and have to pretty much put them in the back of the wardrobe because they are out of fashion, these however are just way beyond any fashion
(7-3) - Forgot this one the other day, Anachronism, try to use it in a sentance today :)
(7-2) - Lab Reactions - Some of these are fascinating.
(7-1) - This is a bit specialist geeky, and unless you've hung around forums you might not get it, but trust me it's very well done, but NSFW language.
I've mentioned this before but I'm working on a piss take of twitter called crapper where you can 'crap' about when you last went to the toilet.
It's not progressing as quickly as I would have liked however I have managed (I think) to sort out email processing on the web site. SOOOOOO, if anyone does have the means (please, I need to test it) then email crapper@opanoid.com about your current crap.
The idea is to do it whilst your crapping (as it's 'idle' time) but pre or post is good as well.
All that is currently stripped out is the subject line so put the message in their, the rest of the message is currently ignored (for now).
Thank you fellow crappers :) And the website will be up I'm hoping by the end of the weekend.
Of all the unlikely places to find this, it's the BBC!
Ron Denis has finally buggered off yay, just need Lewis (LIAR) to go now and F1 will be much better :)
Afternoon Tuesday List
14th Apr 2009 · · LinkMainly because I've been away, but also because I hadn't prepared one!
Did however go and see Monster Vs Aliens 3D in the cinema.
My 4 year old understood that things were 'closer' as he put it but other than that no real reaction.
I found it took me 15 minutes for my eyes to get accustomed to the 3d effect as it's not perfect, shadows and 'ghosts' of the film due appear in different places on screen as does blurriness. But I am very critical. After I had got used to it I sat down and enjoyed the extra depth it gives, and combined with the (unbelievably) high quality of the Movie it does add something to it.
Problem is you can see chairs and sides of the cinema, which do detract from the 3D experience a bit, but again you do get used to blocking that out.
I can't see this taking off at home though, especially with the price hike it will no doubt bring with it (the cinema tickets were about 2.50 extra on top of normal price).
Movie was quite good though irrespective of the 3D or not.
1. 17 Habits of Thin People - These at least will give you some ideas. Or depress you, either way it's a good quick read.
2. Tempted to give this a try, but not let my kids see it Stick Bomb.
3. Finally the best/worst bird poop on cars list. You have no idea how long I have been searching for this.
4. This guy should win surely, made me laugh anyway!
5. But for sheer balls, this woman I hope goes all the way. :)
First watch the video for Number 5 then continue reading this.
Apparently the show has come under a lot of attention for this for many different reasons. The thing is the show is about finding the best talent in Britain to go through to being on the Royal Variety Performance. Now I don't care who wins, the program is an entertainment show, so watching it should be entertaining and you don't get much more entertaining than Saturday's show.
The show has done it's job of entertainment if it has done one of 3 things.
1. Got people talking about it.
2. Provided something that nobody else currently does on tv.
3. Make you laugh, cry, shout or scream at the TV.
I think it covers all 3 of those categories.
Red Dwarf New Episode Review
11th Apr 2009 · · LinkWell it wasn't great, but I think it may be the setup for a further two episodes.
When Grant and Naylor started Red Dwarf the dialogue was the best part and with the departure of Grant it did in my opinion lead to more escapades and 'off ship' adventures utilising more people.
In effect they lost the 2 or 3 man dialogue that worked so well, I believe that this first episode lacked (as with the last 2 series) the funnies that Red Dwarf is known so well for. I still enjoyed the last 2 series, but they could not compete with the previous ones.
I'm hoping that when they do move on and have more interaction that the jokes will fly.
At least that's what I am hoping, and I can't remember the word Smeg being used once, what a missed opportunity.
Fill The Void List
Six days ago · · LinkSooooo busy, but thought i would post what has been gathered this past two weeks, enjoy:
Cee Lo Green - F You (the original isn't bad either
Strange Photo
Patience (stop motion)
I'm patient, but I don't think I could do this for a living.
Do you do this?
Still not using it
Jumpin'
Lucky F'ers.
Extended Version of Prince of Bel Air
It's just not right. (lyrics follow)
And the lyrics:
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.
First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
GeoTagged List
20th Aug 2010 · · LinkAfternoon all, Jesus tees off first hitting his ball straight into the water hazard. He simply walks across the water and hits his ball just short of the green. When Moses tees off, he hits his ball into the same water hazard. So, he parts the water and puts his golf ball just shy of the hole. As the old man tees off he hits his ball with tremendous power, but hooks it badly. It bounces off a tree and hits the caddy shack. It then rolls down a path to a pond where a frog eats the ball and swims to the other side of the pond. Suddenly an eagle swoops down and grabs the frog and flies off. As the eagle is flying over the green the frog drops the ball. The ball drops directly into the hole for a hole in one. Moses turns to Jesus and says "I hate playing golf with your Dad."
As the world quickly scrambles to change their FaceBook Profiles to disable Location settings I bring you the List:
Wow
Think Shes a Keeper
Remember kids, always Tip Your Midwife - ?!?!
YoYo Champ - And rightly so
Thanks to Kev for this one, Missy - Genius, I've sent this to 3 designers, they all rang me within 10 minutes laughing.
From the 'How to talk to the geeks about things and not have them laugh at you' Section: HTML5 and what it's all about
Katy B - On a Mission
Drivin' Fast.
Almost a quarter of drivers think it is acceptable to speed if they think the limit is too low - Tick that's me.
Drivers still distinguish between 'ordinary, safe speeding drivers' and 'dangerous speeding drivers' - Tick That's me too.
Motorists caught racing through motorway roadworks ended up being hit by more than £5m worth of speeding tickets last year. - Not been done on this, thankfully.
Of all the speeding offences 90+% are fixed penally notices. - Tick, got done by this.
Thought of the week.
Apple is very closed, they are right, everyone else is wrong (suppliers). However it was noted on a website that Apple have sent an update out for OS X that fixes graphics issues.
This is pretty much due in part to Valve releasing games for the Mac. It's further rumoured that the uptake of the games is astronomical.
Nothing Like a shit load of money to make Apple stand to attention.
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