BAD WEEK Friday list

22nd Aug 2008 · · Link ·

And as such I'm putting up lots and lots of jokes, bad ones, and naughty ones.


Got to the airport check-in with my wife, and the lady said "can you lift your bag up to be weighed please".

I said "no chance, let her climb up herself".



I hope they have premature ejaculation as an event at the London Olympics. I'm bound to come first.


Whenever I see a man with a beard, moustache and glasses, I think, 'there's a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him.'


Have you noticed how gay guys are normally quite well off?

I suppose it's because they don't have bleedin' girlfriends.


A man is driving along the motorway with his wife in the passenger seat. During the drive, the wife gets an idea. She starts taking off her clothing piece by piece and tossing them out the window.

The guy is shocked but aroused. She gets her shoes, socks, etc. and chucks them out. Finally, she whips her underwear off and throws it all out onto the motorway. The guy is laughing and leering at her. He looses control of the car in the process and crashes into a barrier at the side.

Unfortunately, the air-bag doesn't go off on his side, and he finds himself wedged in under the steering wheel. "Help, go get help......aggghhhh, I'm stuck", he shouts.

"But I have no clothes on. What'll I do ?", she screams.

"Here", he says wiggling his foot, "Take my shoe and put it over your crotch. It'll have to do, love. Quick, hurry!"

She takes the shoe off his foot and places it over her crotch and gets out of the car, limping and shouting for help. After a few hundred yards of yelling and running a trucker notices this naked hysterical woman holding a shoe over her crotch, and pulls over.

"What's seems to be the trouble?", he asks.

"Help me", she screams, "My husband is stuck".

"If he's stuck up that far I'm afraid I can't help you."


What do bored Radiology Students do?


An executive was in quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He narrowed it down to one of two people - Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.
He finally decided that whichever one used the water cooler first the following morning would have to go.
After a long day of working, Debra was complaining of a headache, so she got a glass of water. The executive approached Debra and said "Debra, I either have to lay you or Jack off." Debra replys "could you just jack off? i have a headache."





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