Pronoia Friday List

This Morning · · Link ·

So I've dropped off the eldest at school and dropped off the youngest at grandparents, had a cup of tea and make my way to work.

I exit the estate where the grandparents live and make my way on the couple of miles into work.
I drive a Kia Sedona, not the prettiest of cars, but by far the most useful car we have had. It's a diesel.

All of a sudden whilst driving down a road a woman jumps into the road waving her arms up and down (as if to slow me down), this shocks me a little so I hit the breaks (not hard, I'm not going fast, remember it's a Kia and a Diesel) and come to a stop.

She moves to the pavement and shouts (I hadn't even wound the window down) that I was going to fast.

Normally at this point various things flash through my mind, bludgeoning her to death with anything I find around the car, shouting abuse at her, spiting in her face (joking).

But what did I do I her you think (because if your asking aloud your a bit of a nutter).

Well I thought the shouting thing was out because the window was still up (even though I heard her), hitting her is a no-no, and spitting again would just get the window wet.

So I revved the engine (diesel remember) as loud as I could.

So with all my education, my poise my years of experience I gave her the revving of a lifetime, what else could I do?

It had a good effect though, it startled her so much she fell backwards against the wall of the house. This panic'ed me a bit until I saw her start to compose herself, in readiness for another onslaught of abuse I drove off.

Stupid bloody woman.

Anyhoo, spotted this advert busting in Berlin and thought it was just genius. And it gives me an idea...............

Beyonce - All the Single Ladies NOT

Gotta say that he has more energy than I do!

This is NSFW, but really is the best condom commercial ever. (No actual nudity or people I might ad)

We are all familiar with the song, but what about this version: Barenaked Ladies: One Week NOT
I would embed it, but they use oversized videos.

Pronoia - "the sneaking feeling one has that others are conspiring behind your back to help you"

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