Top 20 Popular Weekly Lists
1 - Wednesdays Time list
1st Oct 2008Tomorrow marks my eldest son's 4th birthday, and frankly I find it hard to believe that I have been a father for 4 years (2 1/2 of those a father of two children).
My questions is when do I come out of the 'learning' stage, by that I realise that as a father your always 'learning' but when he was first born I considered myself 'on probation' as a father, at any moment I was expecting someone of authority to swoop in tell me I'm an idiot and take my children off me for doing something wrong.
First day went ok, second day, first week, month, year and before you know it your in a routine (anyone who has seen me with the kids knows that my wife and I are big on routine, and it's payed off).
I'll not bore you anymore about this except this tail (sorry Fry you've heard it).
I was at my parents about two weeks ago and in comes Carter (my eldest) shouting "SPIDER, SPIDER'. As my mother has instilled fear into both my children over spiders.
Now's my chance, "Show me to him then",
"This way this way " leading me by the hand to the spider located near a skirting board in the lounge.
Fairly large spider I must say, not massive but enough to scare a generic spider hater, Now was my chance to correct the balance.
Me - "Now Carter, we don't harm spiders do we?"
Carter - "Why"
Me - "Because they are living things like us, you wouldn't like me or anyone else to hurt you would you".
Carter - "No".
Me - "So what is best to do is help this spider"
Carter - "How Daddy".
This is going well.
Me - "First we catch the spider by putting a glass over him, go into the kitchen and ask Nanny for a glass".
Off he trots on a mission.
Carter - "Here you go daddy".
Me - "Now we put the glass over the spider to stop him runnin a way like so......"
SPLAT
Corban my youngest over my right shoulder crushes the spider with a shoe.
Carter just looks at me with a puzzled face, Corban runs off laughing with a spider stuck to the bottom of a shoe to scare Nanny.
You Can't win.
Anyhoo, linky linky time: Puke | omg wtf | Truly awful sequels | Dammit
Congratualtions to Jason on getting Into last Fridays b3ta.com Newsletter. How's the broadband Jayce :)
Valentino Rossi needs the toilet
Does anyone know if this is a setup or actually happened?
Well i'm off to play golf for charity :)
And good luck this weekend Trev on (finally) getting married :)
2 - Geek List Wednesday
23rd Jul 2008Ok costumes, generally good for fancy dress, but some of these are fantastic (if not geeky). Geeky, but Cool
Keeping up the Star Wars theme, some of these images are of unbelievable quality.
Ever been stuck at a name for your wireless network, mmmm what shall I call it?
Just one image from this week's Via b3ta's image challenge. Genius.
And last for the geeks, what didn't get into Windows Vista, turns out A lot!
Enough of the geek, now for the squeemish, recently contributed online to some comments and a guy on their had Pectus Carinatum. So I looked it up, nasty.
Never let anyone else ever comment on your personal hygiene again
And finally a bit of a caption competition, mainly because I still need to test out the comments section. Optional to leave email address and web address (the web address part is to advertise yourself) the email address is not shown just your name. Please keep it clean as I will delete the very naughty ones.
3 - Moseley Orgy List Friday
4th Apr 2008Ok, this is for the total F^#&wit that tried to drive me off the road in his beaten up Ford Escort, maybe someone will recognise this number plate and tell him. You looked so happy with yourself until you realised I was following you (actually I wasn't it just so happened he was going the same way I was) then you panicked and quickly did a U-Turn and sped off, wuss. Anyhoo:
Ok, now that's out the way how about the best dog photo ever, in Mid Shake.
Found this via digg.com, and one of the comments for this photo said "Glad you like it, but that's my dog and he isn't shaking". lol
Hellboy II anyone? and anyone else read that they are remaking Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. I fail to see how you can improve on perfection myself.
Aint it cool news has an article listing of when new series are coming back on TV (US), see if your favorite is listed and rejoice.
The Ting Tings
Bahrain Grand Prix
Sat Qualifying: ITV: 11:10am >> 13:35pm
Sun Race: ITV: 11:39am - 14:30pm
4 - You Made My List 15th January 2008
15th Jan 2008Those that know me will know that if I am 'wronged' by something then it sticks with me for ever.
In effect it makes my list.
Here are current things that have made my list which will be updated on a running basis, there is no order or prejudice, I hate everything here as equal as the other.
1. Ebay Purchase Idiot (name now removed)
This friggin idiot bought something off me on Ebay and sent a ECheque. It wouldn't clear until December 24th, of which I informed him nothing would be sent out for at least 5 days after that.
Boxing day I get a dispute warning from Paypal for non receipt of goods. So I gave him his money back (with a scathing note) and removed his purchase.
Idiot.
UPDATE: I really can't believe it but this guy has just left me a fantastic feedback, even though he received nothing, so I have removed the reference to his ebay user id
2. Harry Ramsdens Restaurant, not take out
This was really annoying at the time, but doesn't affect me so much now, but it still really annoys me.
They refused to heat up our baby food for the nipper when in there eating due to there Microwaves being 'Industrial'.
So rather than have our (then screaming) child go hungry while we eat my wife left the restaurant and went to cafe where they heated it up and we returned.
Fair enough, some companies are 'worried' about heating things due to the sueing culture of the US, but the attitude was horrendous. They pretty much just said no, not allowed to and walked away, no real explanation (we had to flag someone else down and get an explanation).
As a result of this I will never go into the restaurant part again (and to be honest the take out price has gone up so high I give that a miss too!)
Not sure what is with the web address for them either, but thats the one I found!
3. Spar (supermarket)
For some reason they employ staff who are miserable, and only like older people. If your below 25 then they would rather spit on you than serve you (and leave you to pack your things away while staring with a long line of people waiting to get served, rather than help you). Bastards.
4. Lolly Pop Ladies/Gentlemen/Persons
For god sake, I know your trying to get people across the road. But
CANT YOU SEE THE TRAFFIC PILING UP BECAUSE YOU STOP THE TRAFFIC EVERY TIME SOMEONE TURNS UP TO THE PEDESTRIAN CROSSING.
It doesn't give the traffic enough time to move on if you stop it every car. Use your brain and let about 4-5 cars past before allowing people to cross again (that will mean people are waiting an extra 20 seconds, I think they can take it).
I think an exam should be sat before your allowed to become a Lolly Pop person. Another good point raised here.
5. Boing Boing
Don't get me wrong, they have very nice articles on Boing Boing, but they are soooo biased. And most of the time they seem to post articles that are submitted without really giving a balanced view. Ok ok I know most of the internet does that but Boing Boing is very popular so I think should give both sides.
Oh and if you disagree with the article in the comments (because the only reason they have comments is for the 'Me Too' culture) then prepared not to have it posted.
That and the fact they are so far up there own arses (have you seen the video pod cast!).
6. Ron Dennis
Do I really need to give a reason, oh ok then.
Other than the fact he lied about the Formula 1 Scandals its the fact that after every race he used to moan and winge about losing the race being everyone's fault apart from his teams and his. That and he seems like a miserable git.
7. Misrepresentative [News] Titles
This is where something juicy appears as a news title like "Rocket blows up at Masters", referring to Ronnie O'Sullivan losing in the first round Masters match. Now it makes it look like he goes nuts and walks off (again) but he doesn't, he just misses a blue at the end and loses the frame so doesn't go through, that's it. BUT, because he has a reputation for blowing up in the past the pull you in on that. And I hate it.
I know why they do it, but I still hate it, I think it's petty journalism, let the article, or whatever, stand on it's own and let me make the decision, don't draw me in with something that is not representative.
8. Nintendo's Stars to Points system
THIS IS VERY VERY ANNOYING.
You register your Wii/Nintendo games and get Stars (I got 2500 for that), then you can click to convert your stars to points to use on the Wii to download older games.
Think is the stars to points cards are only available 'sometimes' and even when available the purchase doesn't work.
Very very annoying.
9. Estate Agents/The last person who lived in our house
Firstly estate agents for selling us the house, and secondly the dickhead who lived there who did such a shoddy job in the entire house we are still (almost 2 years later) finding things that scare the hell out of us.
Only yesterday we removed a board covering up the underside of the stairs (to make a storage cupboard) only to find a wire sticking up that was live. not only that but whilst having the bathroom re-done we were fitting a light fitting, which under new regulations has to have a dome over the fixtures to stop any heat spreading causing problems in the ceiling.
On taking down the previous light we noticed he had put a plant pot over the fixtures in the ceiling. Idiot.
I just wish I could bump into him one day I really do (although my wife would have to point him out as I'm not very good with faces).
5 - Omorashi Friday List
14th Nov 2008Translation: Panty Wetting Friday list. Some odd shit going around!
I start this week with clearing up a few things, if you have missed out on certain movies and wish to know what happens, then this is for you. If you want to find out the Looooong way by actually, god forbid, watching the movies then DON'T watch this.
Did you last? I managed it, and only a few movies spoiled for me.
After that something a bit more serious, The Last 10 Pictures Taken is quite interesting (if not a bit short on some details), and talking of pictures a couple of juicy ones this week, it's time to move house when you spot this in the corner of the room, then decide to clean out your BBQ!
Quickies: Innocent mind | Naughty Children | WTF?
Song this week is a bit different, this is (apparently) the first take of the movie video for White & Nerdy by Wierd Al.
I have to say that the work rate in this is stunning, and it just mesmerizes me to watch it.
This is amazing, an early version, he just keeps going and going.
White & Nerdy (Take #1) from waymoby on Vimeo.
I'm slowly plucking up the courage to release parts of a book I'm writing onto the site in sections (I've not finished the book yet so it would be one way to make me finish it if I start releasing it on here).
Problem is one of the reasons for doing this blog was to vent ideas and get more used to writing, I don't think I'm quite on top of it yet, but I am improving. Might start adding things next week.
6 - You made my list religion
23rd Jan 2008This is really getting stupid now, the BBC is reporting that the Three Little Pigs is being banned because it might offend some religions.
What if things were reversed?
Anyhoo, for those that want possibly the best ever version of the Three Little Pigs, you just have to go here.
7 - Jumping List Thursday
2nd Jul 2009Usually on a weekend morning I get a bit of a break by not getting up quite as early in the week.
This entails the kids usually coming into the bed and either sleeping (ok that never happens) or playing around my dozing state. On some occasions the other half goes to help some charity, in which case I'm in the bed with the kids jumping around and generally getting in the way of my slumber.
Last Sunday on one such occasion an horrific thing happened.
Whilst the kids are playing the jumping on the bouncy bouncy bed and landing on daddy's back game my eldest took a run up over the bed jumped a small jump in readiness for the full pummeling jump to take full advantage of the springy springy bed.
All went well with the first jump and to be honest the setup from this jump was so perfectly time his full weight (he's only 4 to be fair) pushed down on the matress for one of the springiest, and highest, jumps in the history of mattress jumping (for him) and he landed square on my back.
I did not flinch.
I did not move.
In fact all I could do was shed a tear or two and emit a high pitched scream that only the dog (who, if he hadn't have gone with Claire would no doubt have come in the room) could have heard.
You see the secondary jump by my eldest had his feet squarely together over the top of my sausage and roast potatoes. The best way of describing this is the Scene in Kill Bill 2 where Kiddo (Uma Thurman) squishes Elle Drivers' (Daryl Hannah) eye ball between her toes.
Suffice to say, bed jumping is now forbidden in our house.
I'll struggle on with this before I have to go to school dinners (I kid you not) as my face is somewhat sunburnt (I can feel it cracking when I move around) and my hay-fever is awful, subject to having to have windows open all night to stop the family turning into a Sweat Blob Monster(c).
1. Hawkeye - Loving the Wimbeldon stuff and the rulings with this, here is the company that make it. And they have one for everyone, Football one in the works.
2. I don't use the word genius very often, but this is truly genius. Ever fixed someting 'temporarily', well then this is for you. There I Fixed It
3. Simply Huge Dogs, not photoshopped.
4. Skeptics annotated bible - This site is dedicated to rubbishing the bible, quran and book of mormon. So if you want to feel justified, give it a go, or if you want to anger up the blood give it a go.
5. Searching..................Everyone uses google, but more specialist ones are starting to pop up. Collecta - Uses things like twitter and flickr to get results. Kosmix - I quite like this one, gave some good results for opanoid.com :) - Apple style Thumbnail listings and Spyfu - Will be giving this a bending in the next few weeks!
6. If you want to be grossed out.Breastfeeding at 8 - I couldn't watch it.
7. A Grant for Bottom Inspecting Silly, although it is a good excuse for the alternative version of Baby Got Back:
8. And this weeks best medical name goes to Pruritic Urticarial papules
9. I didn't have much success with this, but I was a bit rushed and never properly used it, others may have better luck, Stellarium
10. Jokes of the Week
What's more distracting than Serena's Breasts?
Venus's fly trap.
This hot weather!
I'm sweating more than Dawn French on a guided tour of Mr Kipling.
I'm a Community Support Officer, and I'm a fake PC
I've just tried my wife's bra on.
They are more complicated than they look arent they?
After nearly 10 minutes it was starting to get right on my t1ts.
The Lesbians next door have bought me a Rolex! Well chuffed... but I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch"
11. Finish on a song.
End it on a song, my current fav
Green Day - 21 Days
8 - Suicidal Wednesday List
5th Nov 2008Whilst I sit here sorting out the best way to end it all (work), I couldn't help but think depressing thoughts, so I give you Top 10 Ways to Commit Suicide. personally it would have to be a drug overdose for me.
I don't like heights so jumping is out
I'm not keen on the water so drowning is out
Suffocation looks like a lot of work
Electrocution would cause the electric bill to go up to much
Exsanguinaion is apparently more of a cry for help than suicide so seems pointless.
I've got a strong neck so hanging might not work
Poison again seems very slow.
Carbon Monoxide is a possibility (apparently you pass out first, just hope no-body revives you).
I don't think I could hold a gun steady enough to blow my head off (and yet I could hold it steady enough to blow someone else's off, how strange).
When I was (much much) younger I joked with friends about how I would take out my top ten list if I was told I only had days/weeks/months to live. Well I've grown up now and don't believe any life should be taken by anyone (yada yada if someone killed your something wouldn't you want them killed, no I wouldn't which makes the suicide thing above pointless, but that's the point, stay with me here).
Anyway, my top ten, err actually best not do my top ten people I'd have taken out, might cause an upset, instead I'll do the top 3 weapons I'd use for taking them out.
1. The Remington Model 700
2. Something with a bit more oooommmppph, BFG-50A
Frankly the only reason to use this one would be the for noise :)
3. and for Nostalgic purposes, Smith & Wesson Model 29.
Just in case anyone reads this and is thinking remotely of suicide, please go to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline site, they can help you.
Ok before I start to worry everybody I'll lighten things up a bit (in the wake of the end of the.....ok I'll stop).
Nothing Like a messed up registration - I just love the way around it though, lazy arses.
Some might not be familiar with this song in it's original form (but of the All Saints version) anyway I loved this song and still do, and it is so funny to get an altered 'literal' version of it :)
And something I had suspected for a whilewoman are dirty.
Extra super duper bonus shit. Geeky Bumper Stickers Off to get a php sticker done | Eurggggh (warning nork)
Well I'm off to see if I can find some website that has some details of this American Election, just can't find anything anywhere, you'd think in this day and age someone would know something of our cousins across the pond and who won.
9 - Suckered In Thursday List
9th Jul 2009Happened to go to Wordsley Carnival last Sunday as other half was showing off a few greyhounds in the hope that someone will adopt them.
Whilst their took the youngest for a look around (eldest playing with cousin).
The general brick-a-brack and hook a duck stores were all around but over one side was what can only be described as a high curtain all the way around, nobody to be seen, in a very busy spot where lots of people are walking past.
Then all of a sudden a puppet (not unlike one of the old men in the muppets) appears over the top and addresses the audience and starts telling jokes.
Well my little one is enthrawled, so we stop and watch, as does just about everyone else around us (causing a problem that nobody can get passed so everyone just stops and watches).
The jokes continue for a while and then the puppet leaves. Quite amusing but the jokes were a bit, well strange, couldn't quite put my finger on them, but they were odd.
As people start to move around thinking it's then end of the show up pops three puppet monkey's and they start to mime the S-Club Song Reach. So again everyone stops and watches.
But a problem arises. When they get to the chorus. See if you spot the difference.
'Reach on up for God, climb every mountain higher,
Reach on up for God, follow his hearts desire,
Reach on up for God'
This was not met with an enthralled audience.
Suffice to say lots of crying from my youngest as I drag him away.
Bastards
Anyhoo:
The Funny:
The Old - Tip: Watch from 18 minutes :) It's the wussy kick that does it for me :)
The Random
The Name
The Time Waster - 2D version of what wasted so many of my hours
The Cool - Just Keep Clicking, Just Keep Clicking, Just Keep Clicking, Clicking, Clicking.
The Train
The Music - Jamie T
The Jokes - Warning these may well offend
1. If you don't enjoy masturbation, you only have yourself to blame.
2. I don't understand why I can't get a girlfriend.I'm as confused as Lieutenant Geordi La Forge was, as he examined the Enterprise's faulty warp drive during the season 3 finale of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
3. I just got a Text Message from my blonde girlfriend. It read 'I bought a new deodorant today. Instructions say 'take top off and push up bottom'. Still in Hospital, will call you later.'
Well I'm off to see if I can get a copy of Warehouse 13 on the SyFy, premise looks quite good.
And out of interest has anyone seen Watchmen, I'm still not decided if it was genius or really really shite.
10 - Freshly Picked Nipple Scabs Wednesday List
22nd Oct 2008For those that don't know, Jogger's Nipple is caused by friction from the repeated rubbing of a t-shirt or other upper body clothing against the nipples during a prolonged period of exercise (for example 10k runs).
Jogger's nipple is known also by other names, runner's nipple, raver's nipple, big Q's, red nipple, weightlifter's nipple, and gardener's nipple.
I'd like to add my own name to that list:
ooooooowowwwwwwwwwwwwwwf@ck1nghelllllllllllllllllllll nipple.
I thought I new pain, but until I had jogger's nipple then my nipples scabbed over THEN I ran again and at first had to run through the breaking off of the scab, then being left with freshly picked nipple scabs (that combination of words is genius) then had to run through the pain of the sore nipples I really didn't know pain at all.
Still I managed 10k :)
Thought of the week, When you scratch your ear why is it not as loud as hell.
I've been thinking of growing a beard, long history of beards, this has almost convinced me to do it.
I do believe the answer to arguments has now been solved, and so simple.
Fell upon this website that will Allow you to control your PC with a WiiMote you will need Bluetooth though. No Mac version, but as the WiiMote's are Bluetooth I wonder if they will connect to the newer Mac's that have Bluetooth built in (will try this tonight).
I always thought this video was genius.
Via www.sickipedia.org so don't blame me.
An elderly man is lying on his death bed when he smells freshly baked chocolate chip cookies coming from the kitchen. He gathers up all of his strength, rolls out of bed, and crawls on his hands and knees towards the kitchen. Just as he is about to reach for one of the cookies, his wife comes in and smacks his hand with a wooden spoon and says, "Get away from those! They're for the funeral luncheon!"
Noel Edmonds has a special TV Program for Comic Relief from Africa, It's called Meal or No Meal.
11 - Fast Wednesday List
16th Jul 2008Amazingly hectic day today with too many things going on (least of all a quick meeting on a Golf Course :)
First part is a gripe over Sky+
I use Sky+, and frankly I don't think I could live without it. Problem is I have used it for so long now it has hardly really changed. And that is frankly rubbish.
First of all, get rid of the +1 Listings, if a listing has another +1 just add a +1 to the end of the listing to donate that, then give an option to view the +1.
For example, Current Sky:
New Sky Idea: (yes I know it's not exact!)
This would save soooo much space and allow more channels to be viewed on screen.
Using the Green button for example would switch the channel from normal to +1 and back again when pressed (I don't think the Green button is currently used for anything whilst watching TV).
The other thing that would be VERY useful would be to get Information on a program on another channel without having to switch to that channel using the onscreen guide whilst watching a channel.
And if that is possible (which It must be surely) then viewing info on a program on another channel at a different time would also be dammed useful., this is the year 2008 afterall.
Ah, feels better to get that out, anyway quick tip this week, be nice in restaurants and other things of note.
And why did I find this now *after* glastonbury has finished, typical.
And now a video, Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl. (Lyrics after the video). UPDATE Live version as the other youtube one got pulled.
Altogether now.
This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion
It's not what, I'm used to
Just wanna try you on
I'm curious for you
Caught my attention
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it
No, I don't even know your name
It doesn't matter
You're my experimental game
Just human nature
It's not what, good girls do
Not how they should behave
My head gets so confused
Hard to obey
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it
Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it
12 - No Time Thursday List
25th Jun 2009A company over the road from us closed down the other day. They were a kitchen fitting company and decided to up and leave. Leaving the building full of rubish and the lease company to come and pick up the machines.
Apparently they were in spain within 24 hours, sneaky buggers.
What did make me laugh is the note they left on the door. 'Gone to Funeral'.
Feeling a bit rough this morning after playing football last night, not aching, got used to that a while ago, just bad hay fever this morning, a crushed foot and blood comes out of my nose every time I blow it.
Got smacked in the face with the ball :)
SO on with the list (in no particular order):
3. Butt Belly - Very nicely done, although some are NSFW.
2. I had a venus fly trap when I was younger but I killed it because I fed it too many flies, I've always had a fascination with strange plants, unfortunately Claire is on the plant killer list so we don't have many.
5. Nice parody:
8. Augmented Video Game. Certainly a lot of potential for this, but I think on a larger scale (like hidden messages on walls), but it might be a nice way to get kids to move around and interact.
Also this type of thing would really be good for the RPG crowd.
6. Nice Username
7. Sorry but, Nice Tits
1. Bit odd but apparently Big Mac and Fries are better than some salads - Must be correct it's on the non-biaised, non-sitting on the fence, non-we don't want to upset anyone BBC (yes that was a rant).
4. Sooner or later, your wife will drive.... - Genius.
End it on a song, very strange video, catchy song though:
Well I'm off to give evils to Murray in the Tennis.
13 - Anti-Space Friday list
10th Oct 2008Thismaywellannoyyou:)
Aswebsitemoderatorsgoitisanun-writtenrulethatyoudon'thaveapagethatis'under construction',howeverThisisquitenicelydone.
Ouch.
Walmartareascaryscarycompany(foundviafazed.net).
Nicetoknowthatifyougethookedonsomethingyourinadistinguishedfamily.
Famouspeopleandtheirdrughabits.
Snigger
NEVERTrustadvertisers(Ifindthisgenius).
IwantsomeChicken,ooh,looktheyhaveRealChicken
HeartwarmingQuestionoftheWeekFromb3ta.com, Nicethings.
Finishonasong.
Ignorethevideolistentothewordsgenius
14 - Hate List: Boing Boing
8th Aug 2008I used to read Boing Boing on a regular basis, then it trailed off as the content is, well, very systematic.
They are big in terms of blogs, but the problem is they don't allow comments, unless they are the general pointless comments or comments about how good and lovely boing boing is.
Some comments I have made to the site with criticism about articles never made it, and no reason why was given. I hate that. If you do a blog censor the words, but let the content stand, maybe i'll take a different view if this site ever gets popular, but as it's more of a psychological way of me leaving some message I doubt it will ever be a million dollar money earner.
Just disappointed really, plus I really would like to know why Violet Blue (whom I frankly can't remember her posts specifically) were removed from Boing Boing and after repeated requests from people no explanation has been given.
15 - Wednesday Super Happy Not Poorly List
8th Oct 2008Feeling pretty good today, my cold has gone, started to run again (faster better bigger and more) and things generally look good all around.
Ok so can people stop moaning that I complain now :)
Soon the season for Holidays and events begins with Hallowe'en, my personal favorite as I have started to carve pumpkins, Bonfire Night, my kids are now old enough to enjoy this more and then Christmas.
Christmas is totally different when you have kids, everyone shares in the exceitement, but frankly nobody does christmas like The US (I can only assume this is in america!).
You may have noticed I post various things of celebrities not at the best, well this is just genius, The Top 15 Hot Girls Gone Fugly. I know it's a bit unfortunate as paprazzi can always get 100 bad shots for every 1 photo shoot but some shockers in here. For example, Madonna's Arms (erugh), Kelly LeBrock (I love Wierd Science) and Melanie Griffith. Think the Brigitte Bardot is a bit harsh though, she is getting on a bit now.
Say what you will about weddings, some like them, sort hate them, but this I believe would be at least a laugh. Star Wars Wedding.
Oh this is a bit Crap isn't it.
I'm not linking to it because it's stupid, but apparently Google Mail has adopted an anti drunk option to stop you emailing under the influence.
What's next a boot up program that makes you type over 80 words per minute before you can use your computer (mmmmm, not a bad idea actually).
Oh yes, I think I've found the tattoo I want.
The suspense on this almost killed me.
No points if you find yourself watching this and swaying with the guy.
This made my stomach churn, but then I have a fear of anything higher than an ant.
Also this is called Kiiking (Wikipedia link).
Although personally I think a Horizontal Bungee jump might be worse.
At some point I will be visiting London again soon as my other half needs to get some items that are only for sale in the capital. I will definately be seeking out this place inamo just to use the special menus.
Oldie, but a goldie.
I actually dreamt about this song last night that's why adding it in.
And finally, Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants.
The iBreast will cost £499 to £599.
This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
16 - Hayfever Friday list
5th Jun 2009I hate Hay fever, and although this year is not as bad as others (I have started using handkerchiefs as using toilet paper caused it to get worse) it really still is a pain turning up to meetings looking like a drug addict (swollen watery eyes and dripping nose).
Anyway, sniff, onto, sneeze, the list.
10. Quickly before it gets removed, if you have a Mac, a download for Google Chrome.
9. This will probably please Claire and Sarah, Interview with Del Torro - He Likes his Vampires.
8. Tetris is 25 years old, and is still the only game I play on a regular basis (usually at 16:50 each Friday when it's too late to start something new). I used to play the Application through Facebook, but recently found This site, which has the best game ever of tetris. Warning though, don't go to the site until it's lunch time. I remember playing an arcade game of tetris that if you progressed high enough would pay out money.
7. What I want. It's that time of year again that my mind starts to wonder why I have no money and as a consequence my brain decides that to make me happy I need things. Things I can't have. Because I have no money, that my brain knows so why does it start making me feel that I need these things (quickly looking up Brain Paradox - Not doing that again, scared the hell out of me). Anyhoo enough of my insanity.
I want a Green House, A Kindle (new one), One of the yet un-release Iphones with v3.0 software, PS3, Forza 3, A sportscar, A Digital Radio Kit (this I'm not sure exists yet, but I want a digital radio circuit board so I can built an outer box in my own style and liking around it).
The only thing that is possible out of that list is Forza 3.
6. The Fat Controller :)
5. He finally catches the Road Runner
4. I read this online article about evangelic christians and though what an interesting idea. However anyone else think this guy has been somewhat brain washed by the experience, that's the impression I got.
3. Please No, but unfortunately yes. The Air Sex World Championships
2. If you have a block of some sort (writers block, creativivty block you get the idea) these may turn out to be inspiring - Top 100 One Liners.
1.With all the Hype around them and Beatles Rock Band I thought I'd play what I consider to be the best song ever.
And for those that want to sign along:
Here come old flat top
He come groovin' up slowly
He got jew jew eyeballs
He want holy rollers
He got hair down to his knees
Got to be a joker
He just do what he please
He wear no shoeshine
He got toe jam football
He got monkey finger
He shoot Coca Cola
He say I know you, you know me
One thing I can tell you is
You got to be free
Come together, right now
Over me
He bag production
He got walrus gumboot
He got Ono sideboard
He one spinal cracker
He got feet down below his knees
Hold you in his armchair
You can feel his disease
Come together, right now
Over me
He roller coaster
He got early warning
He got muddy water
He one Mojo filter
He say one and one and one is three
Got to be good looking
'cause he's so hard to see
Come together right now
Over me
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
17 - Whisky Thursday List
16th Jul 2009One of the busiest weeks I've had this week, but it's not been without it's entertainment.
I was shopping the other day (I actually can't remember what day, which is scary) and whilst walking down the isle deciding on which magazine I can take to read whilst in line to pay (yes I know I shouldn't but I don't care) a lady brushed past me and grabbed a magazine (I think it was OK Magazine, but that's not important).
She promptly turned around and put it in her husbands basket.
"I don't want that?" - Came the reply
"It's not for you it's for me" - Said the lady
"But I don't want it" - Again came the reply.
"Look, just shut up, it's for me not you, you always have a go at my magazine purchases well I'll buy it separately if that's the case, why don't you just shut up and do something helpful". - Says the very annoyed woman. She continues her rant even further.
When she finally finishes with the ti-raid of abuse she finally looks up to see an annoyed man looking back at her.
Further down the isle however is her husband standing next to me crying with tears of laughter.
She just walked off.
The other interesting thing this week was a job I had to urgently get guillotined whilst out on the road. Being in a bit of a fix I called in a favour and within 5 minutes I had directions to a finishing house to cut out my A5 leaflets.
I meet the guy and engage in small talk whilst he is cutting out my leaflets. I start to fuss the company dog (everyone seems to have company dogs nowadays) and take a nose around me.
Not much to see, generally paper everywhere and cuttings. And then I spot it.
In the corner a man working on some paper work sipping at his cup of tea, and every now and then topping up his cup with some Whiskey.
At 10:00am in the morning.
I was in the place for less than 10 minutes and he had topped up his cup 4 times.
Needless to say I was impressed!
Ok then on with the stuff:
I've not read this yet (being the trend setter and not the follower I may never read it :), but this is the wired article New Rules for highly Evolved Humans. Looks like it's ok to txt whilst taking a piss now, although that has backfired on me a few times when I've texted something whilst taking a crap and the person has rung me back right away to clarify the text.
Odd conversations of "Are you in a small room, you have quite the echo", Err yes, yes I am.
After seeing this site I've managed to see a couple of the Directors Cuts that are mentioned. PayBack is a totally different movie!
How wrong can you get, but with something so right. Chocolate
I just loved this, an older person could have had a heart attack Expensive Habit, more details are also here. Is it geeky that I understand how the charges happened :)
This is via fazed.net and is fantastic. It's 9 minutes in length, watch ALL of it, don't worry no real spiders are in this, but it is a, well, just watch it.
Spider
Jokes Jokes Jokey Joke Jokes
When I was a kid I used to hide porn mags under my bed.
My brother in the bottom bunk went blind before he was 16.
Man walks into a doctors. "Doctor, doctor, I've got no ventricles," he
said half-heartedly.
I’ve just broken up with my schizophrenic girlfriend.
“It’s not you, it’s you”.
Well I'm off to check the post for my Toro Rosso Invitation.
18 - New Morning Wednesday List
3rd Sep 2008Shouldn't laugh, but the way some of the programmers have got the people to fall down in realistic ways is just worthy of attention surely.
So you think you can Yo-Yo (Looking at you here Jason), you can't, but this kid can:
I was reading some facts about dreaming today and one 'apparent' fact says "Children under the age of 3 do not dream about themselves. They do not appear in their own dreams until after they are 3 or 4.".
Now I find this absolute rubbish, it's difficult enough getting a straight answer out of a child never mind details about what they dreamed about especially as one of the other facts is that you forget your dreams after between 5-10 minutes. My kids are more likely to poke me in the eye if I start asking serious questions 10 minutes after they have woken up. More dreamy nonsense.
For those that haven't noticed Google has created a new browser called Chrome.
It is very good to be honest, much faster response and javascript is much much faster (good for sites like facebook, digg etc that use lots of ajax).
If you have NO idea what I am on about, trust me just download it and give it a go.
I get the impression it wasn't due to be realised except a leak forced them to move forward with that.
19 - Todays List
16th May 2008Lots of things to get through this week, there is the LCARS Home Controller....
...cartoon characters that have aged.
Muppets matched to Hollywood stars.
impossible photos and a google maps photo taken just two seconds to early.
Odd video of the week is this one though, Optical Illusions.
And finishing on a song:
The Ting Tings (Yo Gabba Gabba Mix).
If you like the original one, then this is better, video is rubbish however.
Party in my tummy.
20 - Friday and the list
17th Oct 2008I learned this week to only go running with a baggy top, my nipples feel like someone keeps jabbing them with a needle. But at least they have stopped bleeding now.
Anyhoo this is cool, a side by side comparison of the Trek's.
Also those that don't listen to Chris Moyles will not have heard that apparently someone gets a bit sick on one of the voyagers of the new Star Trek movie and has to go into a bathroom. Bathroom's in Star Trek genius.
This bloke is not right!
His T-Shirt is cool though :)
Sore linky linky linkies:
No matter what happens to me I am not going to wear any Mantyhose and that's that.
Have I ever mentioned that putting an image online Can cause hilarity.
Men have it easy
And the strangest website of the week goes to Entrances to hell.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.
And finally:
This was the first ever song I heard to do with rap. I've been an LL Cool J fan ever since (although this does seem a bit dated!)