Top 20 Popular Weekly Lists

1 - Geek List Wednesday

23rd Jul 2008

Ok costumes, generally good for fancy dress, but some of these are fantastic (if not geeky). Geeky, but Cool

Keeping up the Star Wars theme, some of these images are of unbelievable quality.

Ever been stuck at a name for your wireless network, mmmm what shall I call it?

Just one image from this week's Via b3ta's image challenge. Genius.

And last for the geeks, what didn't get into Windows Vista, turns out A lot!

Enough of the geek, now for the squeemish, recently contributed online to some comments and a guy on their had Pectus Carinatum. So I looked it up, nasty.

Never let anyone else ever comment on your personal hygiene again


And finally a bit of a caption competition, mainly because I still need to test out the comments section. Optional to leave email address and web address (the web address part is to advertise yourself) the email address is not shown just your name. Please keep it clean as I will delete the very naughty ones.







2 - Wednesdays Time list

1st Oct 2008

Tomorrow marks my eldest son's 4th birthday, and frankly I find it hard to believe that I have been a father for 4 years (2 1/2 of those a father of two children).

My questions is when do I come out of the 'learning' stage, by that I realise that as a father your always 'learning' but when he was first born I considered myself 'on probation' as a father, at any moment I was expecting someone of authority to swoop in tell me I'm an idiot and take my children off me for doing something wrong.

First day went ok, second day, first week, month, year and before you know it your in a routine (anyone who has seen me with the kids knows that my wife and I are big on routine, and it's payed off).

I'll not bore you anymore about this except this tail (sorry Fry you've heard it).
I was at my parents about two weeks ago and in comes Carter (my eldest) shouting "SPIDER, SPIDER'. As my mother has instilled fear into both my children over spiders.
Now's my chance, "Show me to him then",
"This way this way " leading me by the hand to the spider located near a skirting board in the lounge.
Fairly large spider I must say, not massive but enough to scare a generic spider hater, Now was my chance to correct the balance.
Me - "Now Carter, we don't harm spiders do we?"
Carter - "Why"
Me - "Because they are living things like us, you wouldn't like me or anyone else to hurt you would you".
Carter - "No".
Me - "So what is best to do is help this spider"
Carter - "How Daddy".

This is going well.

Me - "First we catch the spider by putting a glass over him, go into the kitchen and ask Nanny for a glass".
Off he trots on a mission.
Carter - "Here you go daddy".
Me - "Now we put the glass over the spider to stop him runnin a way like so......"

SPLAT

Corban my youngest over my right shoulder crushes the spider with a shoe.

Carter just looks at me with a puzzled face, Corban runs off laughing with a spider stuck to the bottom of a shoe to scare Nanny.

You Can't win.

Anyhoo, linky linky time: Puke | omg wtf | Truly awful sequels | Dammit

Congratualtions to Jason on getting Into last Fridays b3ta.com Newsletter. How's the broadband Jayce :)

Valentino Rossi needs the toilet

Does anyone know if this is a setup or actually happened?

Well i'm off to play golf for charity :)

And good luck this weekend Trev on (finally) getting married :)

3 - You Made My List 15th January 2008

15th Jan 2008

Those that know me will know that if I am 'wronged' by something then it sticks with me for ever.
In effect it makes my list.
Here are current things that have made my list which will be updated on a running basis, there is no order or prejudice, I hate everything here as equal as the other.

1. Ebay Purchase Idiot (name now removed)


This friggin idiot bought something off me on Ebay and sent a ECheque. It wouldn't clear until December 24th, of which I informed him nothing would be sent out for at least 5 days after that.

Boxing day I get a dispute warning from Paypal for non receipt of goods. So I gave him his money back (with a scathing note) and removed his purchase.
Idiot.

UPDATE: I really can't believe it but this guy has just left me a fantastic feedback, even though he received nothing, so I have removed the reference to his ebay user id

2. Harry Ramsdens Restaurant, not take out


This was really annoying at the time, but doesn't affect me so much now, but it still really annoys me.
They refused to heat up our baby food for the nipper when in there eating due to there Microwaves being 'Industrial'.
So rather than have our (then screaming) child go hungry while we eat my wife left the restaurant and went to cafe where they heated it up and we returned.

Fair enough, some companies are 'worried' about heating things due to the sueing culture of the US, but the attitude was horrendous. They pretty much just said no, not allowed to and walked away, no real explanation (we had to flag someone else down and get an explanation).

As a result of this I will never go into the restaurant part again (and to be honest the take out price has gone up so high I give that a miss too!)
Not sure what is with the web address for them either, but thats the one I found!

3. Spar (supermarket)


For some reason they employ staff who are miserable, and only like older people. If your below 25 then they would rather spit on you than serve you (and leave you to pack your things away while staring with a long line of people waiting to get served, rather than help you). Bastards.

4. Lolly Pop Ladies/Gentlemen/Persons


For god sake, I know your trying to get people across the road. But

CANT YOU SEE THE TRAFFIC PILING UP BECAUSE YOU STOP THE TRAFFIC EVERY TIME SOMEONE TURNS UP TO THE PEDESTRIAN CROSSING.

It doesn't give the traffic enough time to move on if you stop it every car. Use your brain and let about 4-5 cars past before allowing people to cross again (that will mean people are waiting an extra 20 seconds, I think they can take it).

I think an exam should be sat before your allowed to become a Lolly Pop person. Another good point raised here.

5. Boing Boing


Don't get me wrong, they have very nice articles on Boing Boing, but they are soooo biased. And most of the time they seem to post articles that are submitted without really giving a balanced view. Ok ok I know most of the internet does that but Boing Boing is very popular so I think should give both sides.

Oh and if you disagree with the article in the comments (because the only reason they have comments is for the 'Me Too' culture) then prepared not to have it posted.
That and the fact they are so far up there own arses (have you seen the video pod cast!).

6. Ron Dennis


Do I really need to give a reason, oh ok then.
Other than the fact he lied about the Formula 1 Scandals its the fact that after every race he used to moan and winge about losing the race being everyone's fault apart from his teams and his. That and he seems like a miserable git.

7. Misrepresentative [News] Titles


This is where something juicy appears as a news title like "Rocket blows up at Masters", referring to Ronnie O'Sullivan losing in the first round Masters match. Now it makes it look like he goes nuts and walks off (again) but he doesn't, he just misses a blue at the end and loses the frame so doesn't go through, that's it. BUT, because he has a reputation for blowing up in the past the pull you in on that. And I hate it.
I know why they do it, but I still hate it, I think it's petty journalism, let the article, or whatever, stand on it's own and let me make the decision, don't draw me in with something that is not representative.

8. Nintendo's Stars to Points system


THIS IS VERY VERY ANNOYING.
You register your Wii/Nintendo games and get Stars (I got 2500 for that), then you can click to convert your stars to points to use on the Wii to download older games.
Think is the stars to points cards are only available 'sometimes' and even when available the purchase doesn't work.

Very very annoying.

9. Estate Agents/The last person who lived in our house


Firstly estate agents for selling us the house, and secondly the dickhead who lived there who did such a shoddy job in the entire house we are still (almost 2 years later) finding things that scare the hell out of us.
Only yesterday we removed a board covering up the underside of the stairs (to make a storage cupboard) only to find a wire sticking up that was live. not only that but whilst having the bathroom re-done we were fitting a light fitting, which under new regulations has to have a dome over the fixtures to stop any heat spreading causing problems in the ceiling.

On taking down the previous light we noticed he had put a plant pot over the fixtures in the ceiling. Idiot.

I just wish I could bump into him one day I really do (although my wife would have to point him out as I'm not very good with faces).

4 - Omorashi Friday List

14th Nov 2008

Translation: Panty Wetting Friday list. Some odd shit going around!

I start this week with clearing up a few things, if you have missed out on certain movies and wish to know what happens, then this is for you. If you want to find out the Looooong way by actually, god forbid, watching the movies then DON'T watch this.


Did you last? I managed it, and only a few movies spoiled for me.
After that something a bit more serious, The Last 10 Pictures Taken is quite interesting (if not a bit short on some details), and talking of pictures a couple of juicy ones this week, it's time to move house when you spot this in the corner of the room, then decide to clean out your BBQ!

Quickies: Innocent mind | Naughty Children | WTF?

Song this week is a bit different, this is (apparently) the first take of the movie video for White & Nerdy by Wierd Al.

I have to say that the work rate in this is stunning, and it just mesmerizes me to watch it.
This is amazing, an early version, he just keeps going and going.

White & Nerdy (Take #1) from waymoby on Vimeo.

I'm slowly plucking up the courage to release parts of a book I'm writing onto the site in sections (I've not finished the book yet so it would be one way to make me finish it if I start releasing it on here).
Problem is one of the reasons for doing this blog was to vent ideas and get more used to writing, I don't think I'm quite on top of it yet, but I am improving. Might start adding things next week.

5 - Moseley Orgy List Friday

4th Apr 2008

Ok, this is for the total F^#&wit that tried to drive me off the road in his beaten up Ford Escort, maybe someone will recognise this number plate and tell him. You looked so happy with yourself until you realised I was following you (actually I wasn't it just so happened he was going the same way I was) then you panicked and quickly did a U-Turn and sped off, wuss. Anyhoo:


Ok, now that's out the way how about the best dog photo ever, in Mid Shake.
Found this via digg.com, and one of the comments for this photo said "Glad you like it, but that's my dog and he isn't shaking". lol

Hellboy II anyone? and anyone else read that they are remaking Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. I fail to see how you can improve on perfection myself.

Aint it cool news has an article listing of when new series are coming back on TV (US), see if your favorite is listed and rejoice.

The Ting Tings


Bahrain Grand Prix
Sat Qualifying: ITV: 11:10am >> 13:35pm

Sun Race: ITV: 11:39am - 14:30pm


6 - You made my list religion

23rd Jan 2008

This is really getting stupid now, the BBC is reporting that the Three Little Pigs is being banned because it might offend some religions.

What if things were reversed?

Anyhoo, for those that want possibly the best ever version of the Three Little Pigs, you just have to go here.

7 - Last Year List

3rd Jan 2011

Everyone else does one, so bugger it, might as well do one as well.

best of imgur - Where I get many a link for this site.

Best Album of the Year: Marina and the Diamonds

Best Song of the Year (warning swearing): Cee Lo Green FU
Aint that some shit indeed :)

Honourable mention for best song goes to:
Eminem -Love the Way You lie ft Rihanna

Best Music Video: Gorillaz Stylo


Worst Celebrity Baby Name of the Year:
Buddy Bear Maurice - Jamie Oliver

Best quote of the year:
"Avoid gripping it in the lower left corner in a way that covers both sides of the black strip in the metal band, or simply use one of many available cases" - Steve Jobs

Best b3ta.com Questions of the Week of the year.
Bit choice language at times, but I urge you to read this.

Most looking forward to movie (yes I know I'm pushing the list a bit):
Cowboys and Aliens

Best movie of 2010:
Torn Legacy. Impressive effects. Fantastic soundtrack. And an interesting story (that dispute reports is easy to follow).

Cool photos of 2010 from Red Bull.

Best joke of 2010
What do you call two oranges?
A Pair.


8 - 9 Years Thursday List

27th May 2010

Today is an interesting day, first off it's my wedding Anniversary, which is sort of being put on hold until Saturday (kids going off with grand parents for a few days).
Secondly it's my first every Sports Day for my eldest. And in this is a slight problem, you see he thinks he is going to win everything and I'm not so sure.

I wasn't bad at sports at school, some things I was very good (throwing a ball for example was something I mastered early on and once broke a kids leg playing cricket and bowling the ball at him, I didn't like him).

As it gets nearer to the event I'm not sure who is more nervous, me or Carter.
At least I havn't taken him into the back garden to throw Cricket Balls at him to get used to the ball like I had to do.

Best Lost Ending Idea - I Have seen.

Neurofibromatosis - Nasty

Back to the Future Attention to Detail - Amazing.

Eeerie Graffiti

Geek Alphabet

Lost prequels and sequels anyone.

Hell No Madonna (anyone know if this is real?)

Motivational - Warning, Sexiest, nuddity and nsfw.

Series 4 of IT Crowd soon with a fifth series being green lit as well, yay :)
So in celebration, Turn it Off and On (If you don't laugh etc etc) and also: Bloopers.

Two bits of music for the price of the 1 this week:
First Something New:
David Guetta & Chris Willis ft Fergie & LMFAO - Gettin' Over You



Second Something Old
Stereophonics - The Baartender and the Thief


Jokes, I need them:

My toliet is always getting blocked,
It's shit.

I hear the gay channel have dropped the soap awards tonight

I was once cast as Oliver in a silent interpretation of Oliver Twist.
It was brilliant, I couldn't ask for more.

As a child, Sarah Jessica Parker suffered from dehydration.
Her mum could only lead her to the water, not make her drink it.

9 - Suicidal Wednesday List

5th Nov 2008

Whilst I sit here sorting out the best way to end it all (work), I couldn't help but think depressing thoughts, so I give you Top 10 Ways to Commit Suicide. personally it would have to be a drug overdose for me.
I don't like heights so jumping is out
I'm not keen on the water so drowning is out
Suffocation looks like a lot of work
Electrocution would cause the electric bill to go up to much
Exsanguinaion is apparently more of a cry for help than suicide so seems pointless.
I've got a strong neck so hanging might not work
Poison again seems very slow.
Carbon Monoxide is a possibility (apparently you pass out first, just hope no-body revives you).
I don't think I could hold a gun steady enough to blow my head off (and yet I could hold it steady enough to blow someone else's off, how strange).

When I was (much much) younger I joked with friends about how I would take out my top ten list if I was told I only had days/weeks/months to live. Well I've grown up now and don't believe any life should be taken by anyone (yada yada if someone killed your something wouldn't you want them killed, no I wouldn't which makes the suicide thing above pointless, but that's the point, stay with me here).

Anyway, my top ten, err actually best not do my top ten people I'd have taken out, might cause an upset, instead I'll do the top 3 weapons I'd use for taking them out.
1. The Remington Model 700
2. Something with a bit more oooommmppph, BFG-50A
Frankly the only reason to use this one would be the for noise :)
3. and for Nostalgic purposes, Smith & Wesson Model 29.

Just in case anyone reads this and is thinking remotely of suicide, please go to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline site, they can help you.

Ok before I start to worry everybody I'll lighten things up a bit (in the wake of the end of the.....ok I'll stop).
Nothing Like a messed up registration - I just love the way around it though, lazy arses.

Some might not be familiar with this song in it's original form (but of the All Saints version) anyway I loved this song and still do, and it is so funny to get an altered 'literal' version of it :)


And something I had suspected for a whilewoman are dirty.

Extra super duper bonus shit. Geeky Bumper Stickers Off to get a php sticker done | Eurggggh (warning nork)

Well I'm off to see if I can find some website that has some details of this American Election, just can't find anything anywhere, you'd think in this day and age someone would know something of our cousins across the pond and who won.

10 - 28mph Tuesday List

24th Feb 2009

Lots of Internet Meme's exist, but did any ever pass you by?
Well fear not for this site has got your back dawg. (I can feel my wife squirm from that sentence). you should have seen this.com - Warning you might spend some time at this site!

Most people will have heard the news of the Simpsons going HD and a new opening scene. Well at one point it whizzes past and you don't get to see everything, fear not. Not sure what Sky did with the new episode or if I'm just not used to it but the screen was horribly stretched (probably due to me not having TV and Sky Box setup correctly).

Also worth a look this week are the Top 100 Funny One Liners/Jokes.
My favorite ones, number 17 and 19.

A bit overkill for a pencil, but I'd do it if I had the means:


I was going to finish on the new Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow Video and Song but they are dishing out take down notices left right and centre.
Plus I've decided that the song is crap :)

Instead the Pet Shop Boys at the Brits


11 - New Year 2009 List Thursday

31st Dec 2009

Well Christmas is over, just New Year night to get through (not a big event usually for us, quiet night in to be honest). Christmas however took on a new meaning this year as our 3 and 5 year old learned of the movie Ghostbusters.

And before you start to say it's not suitable it was a version shown on terrestrial TV that was so edited it was almost a U rating.

Anyway, after watching it twice a day for 5 days running you start to merge with the film.
So it comes as great pleasure to have read the folowing quote from Harold Ramis
"Something's going to happen,....Dan did write a spec GB3 screenplay a few years ago, but no one was motivated to pursue it. Now, 25 years after the original, there seems to be some willingness to proceed and apparently a substantial public appetite for a sequel. We'll introduce some new young Ghostbusters, and all the old guys will be in it, too. Think Christopher Lloyd in Back to the Future ... plans to shoot next summer and release in 2011"
Oh yes, thankfully.

[Rumours abound in the above quote about the Christopher Lloyd reference, I personally think it has something to do with Time Travel, obvious but I still think it does]

Another think this christmas has brought is the new Film Sherlock Holmes, myself and wifey went to see if just after Christmas and I have to say it really was excellent.
To quote the wife "Guy Ritchie really does do his best work when he's not involved with Madonna", can't argue with that.

So on to this New Years Eve 2009 List:

Frankly I don't think enough of this is going on, High Five's.

Noticed this (sorry).

I hate having to register for websites that I just want to read one article or do one thing. It's a pain as I always end up getting a load of rubbish emails. Fear not, Bug me Not is to the rescue.

Whilst at it this may be of use, although US based I must admit many of the items I now purchase online are from US websites so I'll give this a try before I buy. Retail me not.

Just salivating at finding this one, Wordnik (galactagogue, timberdoodle, wolframite I'm going to have to tear myself away from this site).

Ikea Job Interview

Four Paw Drive (This really needs some screeching revving sound track).

Psilon - And now you know.
This just tickled me mainly because it has no use whatsoever.

GreenScreen Grandmas


End of the Year, hopefully next decade won't have any of this:




Happy New Year Everyone.
Congratulations to Mark and Leanne and the as yet unnamed Boy and Girl.
Love and kisses go out and we wish for a good recovery for all involved.


12 - Jumping List Thursday

2nd Jul 2009

Usually on a weekend morning I get a bit of a break by not getting up quite as early in the week.
This entails the kids usually coming into the bed and either sleeping (ok that never happens) or playing around my dozing state. On some occasions the other half goes to help some charity, in which case I'm in the bed with the kids jumping around and generally getting in the way of my slumber.

Last Sunday on one such occasion an horrific thing happened.

Whilst the kids are playing the jumping on the bouncy bouncy bed and landing on daddy's back game my eldest took a run up over the bed jumped a small jump in readiness for the full pummeling jump to take full advantage of the springy springy bed.

All went well with the first jump and to be honest the setup from this jump was so perfectly time his full weight (he's only 4 to be fair) pushed down on the matress for one of the springiest, and highest, jumps in the history of mattress jumping (for him) and he landed square on my back.

I did not flinch.

I did not move.

In fact all I could do was shed a tear or two and emit a high pitched scream that only the dog (who, if he hadn't have gone with Claire would no doubt have come in the room) could have heard.

You see the secondary jump by my eldest had his feet squarely together over the top of my sausage and roast potatoes. The best way of describing this is the Scene in Kill Bill 2 where Kiddo (Uma Thurman) squishes Elle Drivers' (Daryl Hannah) eye ball between her toes.

Suffice to say, bed jumping is now forbidden in our house.




I'll struggle on with this before I have to go to school dinners (I kid you not) as my face is somewhat sunburnt (I can feel it cracking when I move around) and my hay-fever is awful, subject to having to have windows open all night to stop the family turning into a Sweat Blob Monster(c).

1. Hawkeye - Loving the Wimbeldon stuff and the rulings with this, here is the company that make it. And they have one for everyone, Football one in the works.

2. I don't use the word genius very often, but this is truly genius. Ever fixed someting 'temporarily', well then this is for you. There I Fixed It

3. Simply Huge Dogs, not photoshopped.

4. Skeptics annotated bible - This site is dedicated to rubbishing the bible, quran and book of mormon. So if you want to feel justified, give it a go, or if you want to anger up the blood give it a go.

5. Searching..................Everyone uses google, but more specialist ones are starting to pop up. Collecta - Uses things like twitter and flickr to get results. Kosmix - I quite like this one, gave some good results for opanoid.com :) - Apple style Thumbnail listings and Spyfu - Will be giving this a bending in the next few weeks!

6. If you want to be grossed out.Breastfeeding at 8 - I couldn't watch it.

7. A Grant for Bottom Inspecting Silly, although it is a good excuse for the alternative version of Baby Got Back:


8. And this weeks best medical name goes to Pruritic Urticarial papules

9. I didn't have much success with this, but I was a bit rushed and never properly used it, others may have better luck, Stellarium

10. Jokes of the Week
What's more distracting than Serena's Breasts?
Venus's fly trap.

This hot weather!
I'm sweating more than Dawn French on a guided tour of Mr Kipling.

I'm a Community Support Officer, and I'm a fake PC

I've just tried my wife's bra on.
They are more complicated than they look arent they?
After nearly 10 minutes it was starting to get right on my t1ts.

The Lesbians next door have bought me a Rolex! Well chuffed... but I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch"

11. Finish on a song.

End it on a song, my current fav
Green Day - 21 Days



13 - Stuck Tic-Tac List

24th Sep 2009

Stuck Tic Tacs are a part of growing up, my youngest for example the other day had two tic-tacs stuck and as I was about to take the box off him and squeeze it he just as quickly banged the tic-tac into his other hand freeing the two stuck ones.
This led me into a brain cycle of learning, how kids learn things. Had he seen this done, had he figured out that was the best way, was it just instinct?

After a while I came to the conclusion that I think far too much about tic-tacs. And that I still get miffed when I buy a different flavoured tic-tac just to find out that the box is shaded different and they are still white.

1. Movies and their Shorts - A few interesting ones in this.

2. Anonymous - You may have seen the videos done by Anonymous against scientology. Well this wired article explains who they are.

3. EVERYONE enjoys the inspector gadget theme, I don't care who you are, it's catchy and always brings a smile (smile godddamit!). Well here it is On Bottles.

4. This is a good read (and for once all on one page and plenty of them) Controversial Magazine Covers

5. For all the people expecting a new arrival (that's most of the people I know).
If you like it then you need to put a nappy on it.


6. Edging ever so close (and I believe the playable demo is available today 24th September 2009) I just can't wait, so far one of the things I set out to do this year has been completed. Watch the new star Trek movie (Spock too much emotion is not right). The second is so close I can't wait (I'm getting obsessed with this game).
More Forza Motorsport 3 News & Previews

6.5. Wasn't going to add this but it is quite amusing:


7. Did you know Matthew McConaughey cannot stand up by himself.

8. This is just great. First I suggest you watch the second original video of the Microsoft Windows 7 Launch Party, and if you can take the horrific cringeworthyness try the remix.

9. I do believe I've found my next purchase:


10. The Veronicas - Untouched




Well i'm off for a bit of pushing on a string.

14 - Freshly Picked Nipple Scabs Wednesday List

22nd Oct 2008

For those that don't know, Jogger's Nipple is caused by friction from the repeated rubbing of a t-shirt or other upper body clothing against the nipples during a prolonged period of exercise (for example 10k runs).

Jogger's nipple is known also by other names, runner's nipple, raver's nipple, big Q's, red nipple, weightlifter's nipple, and gardener's nipple.

I'd like to add my own name to that list:

ooooooowowwwwwwwwwwwwwwf@ck1nghelllllllllllllllllllll nipple.

I thought I new pain, but until I had jogger's nipple then my nipples scabbed over THEN I ran again and at first had to run through the breaking off of the scab, then being left with freshly picked nipple scabs (that combination of words is genius) then had to run through the pain of the sore nipples I really didn't know pain at all.
Still I managed 10k :)

Thought of the week, When you scratch your ear why is it not as loud as hell.

I've been thinking of growing a beard, long history of beards, this has almost convinced me to do it.

I do believe the answer to arguments has now been solved, and so simple.

Fell upon this website that will Allow you to control your PC with a WiiMote you will need Bluetooth though. No Mac version, but as the WiiMote's are Bluetooth I wonder if they will connect to the newer Mac's that have Bluetooth built in (will try this tonight).

I always thought this video was genius.


Via www.sickipedia.org so don't blame me.
An elderly man is lying on his death bed when he smells freshly baked chocolate chip cookies coming from the kitchen. He gathers up all of his strength, rolls out of bed, and crawls on his hands and knees towards the kitchen. Just as he is about to reach for one of the cookies, his wife comes in and smacks his hand with a wooden spoon and says, "Get away from those! They're for the funeral luncheon!"

Noel Edmonds has a special TV Program for Comic Relief from Africa, It's called Meal or No Meal.

15 - Pox 2 Tuesday List

26th May 2009

Ah the joys of Chicken Pox, just when one has got rid of it, the other decides he wants it (bang goes my theory that Chicken Pox doesn't pass to the elder children).

Hopefully he wont be to bad then we can concentrate of stopping the youngest whipping it out and peeing on things (like dogs, people, chairs).

Anyhoo:

1. 50 Text Acronyms that Parents need to know. I've a feeling I'll be speaking a totally different language to my kids in about 3 years time.

2. Aninated gif's, slow to load, pointless but sometimes amusing, The Eyebrow and Bruce Lee loves birthdays and Bowling and Face Meet Sand and

3. Finally some people who have given birth naturally and more importantly not making a media frenzy out of it (well within reason, it is a joyous occasion after all).

4. Morning you Muppet.

5. Piano Choir.


6. Paloma Faith - Stone Cold Sober


Well i'm off to try and stop my heart palpitations and get some work done.

16 - Wednesday Super Happy Not Poorly List

8th Oct 2008

Feeling pretty good today, my cold has gone, started to run again (faster better bigger and more) and things generally look good all around.

Ok so can people stop moaning that I complain now :)

Soon the season for Holidays and events begins with Hallowe'en, my personal favorite as I have started to carve pumpkins, Bonfire Night, my kids are now old enough to enjoy this more and then Christmas.

Christmas is totally different when you have kids, everyone shares in the exceitement, but frankly nobody does christmas like The US (I can only assume this is in america!).

You may have noticed I post various things of celebrities not at the best, well this is just genius, The Top 15 Hot Girls Gone Fugly. I know it's a bit unfortunate as paprazzi can always get 100 bad shots for every 1 photo shoot but some shockers in here. For example, Madonna's Arms (erugh), Kelly LeBrock (I love Wierd Science) and Melanie Griffith. Think the Brigitte Bardot is a bit harsh though, she is getting on a bit now.

Say what you will about weddings, some like them, sort hate them, but this I believe would be at least a laugh. Star Wars Wedding.

Oh this is a bit Crap isn't it.

I'm not linking to it because it's stupid, but apparently Google Mail has adopted an anti drunk option to stop you emailing under the influence.

What's next a boot up program that makes you type over 80 words per minute before you can use your computer (mmmmm, not a bad idea actually).

Oh yes, I think I've found the tattoo I want.

The suspense on this almost killed me.

No points if you find yourself watching this and swaying with the guy.
This made my stomach churn, but then I have a fear of anything higher than an ant.
Also this is called Kiiking (Wikipedia link).
Although personally I think a Horizontal Bungee jump might be worse.

At some point I will be visiting London again soon as my other half needs to get some items that are only for sale in the capital. I will definately be seeking out this place inamo just to use the special menus.

Oldie, but a goldie.


I actually dreamt about this song last night that's why adding it in.

And finally, Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants.
The iBreast will cost £499 to £599.
This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

17 - Next Customer Please List

4th Feb 2013

I play a game when i'm out getting my shopping where I put down my shopping on the Checkout and don't put a 'Next Customer Please' divider between mine and the next persons shopping.

I put my items about 1 foot from the person in front and see who flinches first. So far i'm 14 to the good whereas i've got to the checkout lady with no 'Next Customer' having been touched. Whereas i'm 8 to the bad where the person in front has on one occasion asked me to put one down (I obliged, i'm not weird after all) and on another occasion they've reached across and slammed one down in between the food items (this is quite amusing as it either baffles the checkout lady and people around, or they look at me with utter disgust for not doing it myself).

So, join with me in the 'Next Customer Please' defiance game.



Listy Wisty Time.


tankonempty.com

Not Keen on Logitech's New Keyboard

I new it, Katy Perry Without Makeup is.

What Camera do you use?

Primer, many have seen it, many more have seen it numerous times.
Primer explained is just about the best explanation i've read.

Whilst lots of companies paid lots and lots of money for SuperBowl Ad's one design agency got more publicity for an opportunist Tweet during the power outage at the Super Bowl. My hats go off to them.
Oreo

For those who watched the Super Bowl adverts the GoDaddy advert where a 'nerd' kisses a hot girl features This Guy. Who seemingly is the worlds biggest Extra!

Two Songs this week, this beautiful song:
Jessie Ware - If You're Never Gonna Move


And The Rascal :) (Explicit)
Dizzee Rascal - Bassline Junkie.
it is rude, it's a good song, but it's also funny :)



18 - Anti-Space Friday list

10th Oct 2008

Thismaywellannoyyou:)
Aswebsitemoderatorsgoitisanun-writtenrulethatyoudon'thaveapagethatis'under construction',howeverThisisquitenicelydone.
Ouch.
Walmartareascaryscarycompany(foundviafazed.net).
Nicetoknowthatifyougethookedonsomethingyourinadistinguishedfamily.
Famouspeopleandtheirdrughabits.
Snigger
NEVERTrustadvertisers(Ifindthisgenius).
IwantsomeChicken,ooh,looktheyhaveRealChicken
HeartwarmingQuestionoftheWeekFromb3ta.com, Nicethings.
Finishonasong.

Ignorethevideolistentothewordsgenius


19 - Whisky Thursday List

16th Jul 2009

One of the busiest weeks I've had this week, but it's not been without it's entertainment.

I was shopping the other day (I actually can't remember what day, which is scary) and whilst walking down the isle deciding on which magazine I can take to read whilst in line to pay (yes I know I shouldn't but I don't care) a lady brushed past me and grabbed a magazine (I think it was OK Magazine, but that's not important).

She promptly turned around and put it in her husbands basket.

"I don't want that?" - Came the reply
"It's not for you it's for me" - Said the lady
"But I don't want it" - Again came the reply.
"Look, just shut up, it's for me not you, you always have a go at my magazine purchases well I'll buy it separately if that's the case, why don't you just shut up and do something helpful". - Says the very annoyed woman. She continues her rant even further.

When she finally finishes with the ti-raid of abuse she finally looks up to see an annoyed man looking back at her.
Further down the isle however is her husband standing next to me crying with tears of laughter.

She just walked off.

The other interesting thing this week was a job I had to urgently get guillotined whilst out on the road. Being in a bit of a fix I called in a favour and within 5 minutes I had directions to a finishing house to cut out my A5 leaflets.

I meet the guy and engage in small talk whilst he is cutting out my leaflets. I start to fuss the company dog (everyone seems to have company dogs nowadays) and take a nose around me.

Not much to see, generally paper everywhere and cuttings. And then I spot it.

In the corner a man working on some paper work sipping at his cup of tea, and every now and then topping up his cup with some Whiskey.

At 10:00am in the morning.

I was in the place for less than 10 minutes and he had topped up his cup 4 times.

Needless to say I was impressed!

Ok then on with the stuff:

I've not read this yet (being the trend setter and not the follower I may never read it :), but this is the wired article New Rules for highly Evolved Humans. Looks like it's ok to txt whilst taking a piss now, although that has backfired on me a few times when I've texted something whilst taking a crap and the person has rung me back right away to clarify the text.
Odd conversations of "Are you in a small room, you have quite the echo", Err yes, yes I am.

After seeing this site I've managed to see a couple of the Directors Cuts that are mentioned. PayBack is a totally different movie!

How wrong can you get, but with something so right. Chocolate

I just loved this, an older person could have had a heart attack Expensive Habit, more details are also here. Is it geeky that I understand how the charges happened :)


This is via fazed.net and is fantastic. It's 9 minutes in length, watch ALL of it, don't worry no real spiders are in this, but it is a, well, just watch it.

Spider


Jokes Jokes Jokey Joke Jokes

When I was a kid I used to hide porn mags under my bed.
My brother in the bottom bunk went blind before he was 16.

Man walks into a doctors. "Doctor, doctor, I've got no ventricles," he
said half-heartedly.

Ive just broken up with my schizophrenic girlfriend.
Its not you, its you.

Well I'm off to check the post for my Toro Rosso Invitation.

20 - Suckered In Thursday List

9th Jul 2009

Happened to go to Wordsley Carnival last Sunday as other half was showing off a few greyhounds in the hope that someone will adopt them.
Whilst their took the youngest for a look around (eldest playing with cousin).

The general brick-a-brack and hook a duck stores were all around but over one side was what can only be described as a high curtain all the way around, nobody to be seen, in a very busy spot where lots of people are walking past.

Then all of a sudden a puppet (not unlike one of the old men in the muppets) appears over the top and addresses the audience and starts telling jokes.

Well my little one is enthrawled, so we stop and watch, as does just about everyone else around us (causing a problem that nobody can get passed so everyone just stops and watches).

The jokes continue for a while and then the puppet leaves. Quite amusing but the jokes were a bit, well strange, couldn't quite put my finger on them, but they were odd.

As people start to move around thinking it's then end of the show up pops three puppet monkey's and they start to mime the S-Club Song Reach. So again everyone stops and watches.

But a problem arises. When they get to the chorus. See if you spot the difference.

'Reach on up for God, climb every mountain higher,
Reach on up for God, follow his hearts desire,
Reach on up for God'

This was not met with an enthralled audience.
Suffice to say lots of crying from my youngest as I drag him away.

Bastards

Anyhoo:


The Funny:


The Old - Tip: Watch from 18 minutes :) It's the wussy kick that does it for me :)


The Random

The Name

The Time Waster - 2D version of what wasted so many of my hours

The Cool - Just Keep Clicking, Just Keep Clicking, Just Keep Clicking, Clicking, Clicking.

The Train

The Music - Jamie T



The Jokes - Warning these may well offend
1. If you don't enjoy masturbation, you only have yourself to blame.
2. I don't understand why I can't get a girlfriend.I'm as confused as Lieutenant Geordi La Forge was, as he examined the Enterprise's faulty warp drive during the season 3 finale of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
3. I just got a Text Message from my blonde girlfriend. It read 'I bought a new deodorant today. Instructions say 'take top off and push up bottom'. Still in Hospital, will call you later.'

Well I'm off to see if I can get a copy of Warehouse 13 on the SyFy, premise looks quite good.
And out of interest has anyone seen Watchmen, I'm still not decided if it was genius or really really shite.

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